I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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