you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
