Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
