You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
