Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Buhtt sex?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
