I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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