I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
