I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
