I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
