After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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