I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The Olympian is in my bed
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
