i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So here I am, sexting at work.
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