Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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