and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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