Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
