You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
