I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Everclear isn't food dammit
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
