My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
