Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
