Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
