i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
