no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
