she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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