So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Randomize
