That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
