you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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