She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
