I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
