I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
