big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
