Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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