i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
