5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize