I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize