I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I had to cum in my sink.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
