so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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