Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
