Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Nicole vs. Life
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
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