absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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