Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
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