I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
