I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Ladies don't puke and tell
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
