covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It's never too late to be topless.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
