Betty ford says i'm here all night
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
