if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
