listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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