Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize