Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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