So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Someone signed my nipple.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
