Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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