Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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