the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
