I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
