I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
