That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
