Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
