This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
