But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
