I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
