just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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