Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
