this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
sex in a hospital.. check
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
