i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize