No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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