I wanna passion pit in your ass
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
