There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We need to rekindle our bromance
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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