Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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