Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
