It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
