The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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