I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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