Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
